A lil off track...Motherhood through my eyes

"My peanut, my miracle, my love child, my entire reason to be the best I can; so she will grow up to be a strong, positive women."
I'd like to share a lil story...one to give a lil more incite as to who I am, as a nature lovin' mama. One to show how a positive attitude can make all the difference. A story about how motherhood helped my soul grow.
In the spring of 03' I was diagnosed with level 1-2 pre-cervical cancer. (there are over 3000 kinds of this, and mine was pure dna; my mother, aunt, and grandmother had it....thanks guys!)
I began early treatment and things looked good for me...we caught it early enough, so we thought. I had check ups every 4 months with my ob/gyn , and cells were removed every time.
Fast forward to Mt.Man and I hooking up, Nov. 03'. A half year of fighting this, things looked good, no major invasive surgeries, and the cancer was not registering. Mt.Man and I became more serious, and marriage was in the talks. We moved in together in May 04'(to care take a friends house while they worked out of town) and where making plans for the rest of our lives. In Jan. 05' we rented our own apartment. Children started to come into conversations, and we decided we wanted a few. In march I had a check up, and talked to the doctor before hand about the possibility of having children one day. Unfortunately during the check up he found more cells. When the results came back, I had level 2-3 precancerous cells.(Not good, we went from all clear 4 months earlier, to it aggressively coming back.) We scheduled a LEEP procedure, I will spare the details, but the first one didn't work. We did another LEEP in July 05' and yet again not luck. The cancerous cells kept coming back ten fold. Things were serious now, and it was time for surgery...a CONE to be exact. My doctor informed me if this didn't work we would have to start talking about kemo or removal of organs. aghhh...plus, my cervic would be so weak from the previous surgeries. This ment if I did get pregnant later on, I would be luck to carry the baby through the first trimester. However, if I was lucky enough, bed rest and other nonsense would go along, and on the plus side a natural birth would defiantly take all the cancer away, if I was lucky enough.
So we did the cone in Oct. 05', and like before it came back. Mt.Man and I were okay at this point with not having children, we just wanted to have a long healthy life together. So we went on with the wedding, and house plans. Well, as luck would have it, or fate, we became pregnant on our honeymoon in June 06'.
We were scared, but after the first couple of months the joy set in. This meant no more cancer, this meant having a child of our own, and a long happy life together. Don't get me wrong we have climbed our share of valleys, but we wouldn't have it any other way. I have been cancer free for 27 months now, and a mother. There isn't a day that goes by this lil girl doesn't amaze me, and were I am not thankful to have here around. She makes me want to keep fighting, not just for cancer, but for life. To live happily, to continue being educated in all areas of life, to be strong and fight for what is right, and debate what is wrong. To make changes in our world around us, and to keep my soul open to grow. She inspires me to be everything I can and more. For if I am not, how will she make it through this crazy world? In my prayers, I wish for her journey to be safe and sound, realistically I know she must face uncertainty to learn. I just hope her lessons are a lil easier than mine. Too all the mothers out there...Happy Mothers Day!